Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm like, not good at living.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
