Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
