So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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