I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
