he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
