? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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