I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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