How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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