Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize