They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i now understand why vodka
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
