; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
