I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
