She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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