he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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