I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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