Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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