After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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