He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
third nipple confirmed
Is Oprah even human
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
