I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
