People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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