miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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