Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
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No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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