Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
