My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just gargled with NyQuil
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize