I cockslap morals
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
