I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
