I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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