I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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