Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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