I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
