He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
