There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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