What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
