And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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