well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
