He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
