i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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