She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
