She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
tell me about the eggs
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