Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Let's get the cat blown out
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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