i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
