my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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