remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize