last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.