I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste