So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing