Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail