bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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