Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
