i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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