'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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