That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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