I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
