I'm sorry my penis didn't work
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
