Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
