idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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