Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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