i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize