He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize