So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you had me at cake vodka
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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