so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
