i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
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The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
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It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize