I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize