a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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