Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
