You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
