Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
