She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm getting married
To pizza
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
